I admire every mom and dad out there. You deserve to be celebrated. You are AMAZING…raising kids is no joke. It is the most selfless season and despite how you feel, you’re probably doing an amazing job.
But celebrating is hard for us. Many people innocently say “Happy Nearly Mother’s/Father’s Day” to us – and for us it just plain sucks to hear those words. For us another year has passed and while our hearts are filled with all the love in the world to give, our arms are empty.
This season is the hardest we have ever walked through. The intensity of the emotions and thoughts that flood us in this season are unbearable some days. Other days it is easy to put on a brave face.
I have sat in hospitals encouraging friends to breathe through contractions. I have had the privilege of bathing babies for the first time. I have celebrated with every friend who is pregnant. I have filled my house with all things lemon to help them combat “all-day-morning” sickness. I have smiled and cuddled every baby. But I have also handed them back to their parents. All I am left with is a heart filled with memories of moments with someone else’s kids’ cuteness – but my arms and home are empty.
It’s a season of many questions and few answers. It is a season of “in between”. It is a season when we feel like there is nothing but silence. Not all is doom and gloom. Jeremy & I have both encountered a peace. We are learning a new level of faith and trusting in God’s timing and faithfulness.
But I need to remind people that your innocent jokes and questions/comments can be damaging and hurtful to those who are in our position. There isn’t a need for you to know a couple’s details…you don’t have a right to pry into one of the most intensely private and delicate parts of people. Pretending to be pregnant isn’t a joke. Comments on a woman’s weight gain are hurtful. A little bit of sensitivity will go a long way.
We all need to learn a little kindness in this. Your curiosity or need to say something isn’t more important than a person and what they are going through. The truth is, we want to celebrate with you…we want to be there. We just don’t want our struggles to be brought up just to appease curiosity.
There are more people than you know of that have lost/miscarried a child. There are more people than you know of that are struggling to conceive or to carry a pregnancy full term. There are more people than you know of that won’t be able to have biological children.
Jeremy and I are on our journey – the point is it is OUR journey not EVERYONE’S journey. Many other people are in the same situation. Respect those who are on this journey and in this season. They need support and most times silence – just be there. The questions and comments aren’t important in this season.
We are filled with hope that God will bring His promise to us to pass. Until that time, we will celebrate with those who have the most precious gifts – children.
For all those couples who are in this season – you are not alone. Whatever path you’re on, there is hope. The outcome might not come in the way you imagined, but if you’re able to have hope and faith – there will be a day when your arms will no longer be empty and your hearts will be overflowing with love.
I used to feel guilty for not being able to be at a baby shower or show up at a Mother’s Day celebration. It’s okay to struggling. It’s okay to question. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It is okay to work through the ups and downs. It’s okay…because it is your journey.
For now we are the world’s best Aunty Tazz and Uncle Jerry to many kids. We will impact them…love on them and spoil them just because we can. One day we will get to do the same with our kiddos.
Don’t give up hope💗
Be Brave. Be Bold. Be You.
From my heart to yours