Change is a constant. It is probably the one thing that can be counted on in life to be “the same”. Change is here to stay. No matter who you are or what you do – be assured you will find yourself in the throws of change from time to time.
Now change can be good. Those who have had great success in life have learnt the art of handling change. Change can also be uncomfortable, frightening and at the best of times just plain annoying. If you move out or in something before time – change can also be painful.
I have found myself over last couple of months wresting with my feelings and thoughts as I face a total (and I mean TOTAL) life change. I found myself at a point where I was constantly clinging onto the familiar and often kicking and screaming (like a two year old) at the slightest change. You see, I LOVE routine. That’s my job – bringing order into things. I became so fearful that it was literally driving me to a point of anxiety and panic.
One night I just had it! I cried and cried and cried until I fell asleep. I got up the next morning (Sunday) and was so angry with God. Now don’t judge me for my very honest thoughts…I’m going to be totally transparent about a conversation I had with God. It went something like this: Why does my life have to change so much?? Why can’t He get it right to just let me fulfill my dreams right where I am?? My list of complaints went on. I arrived at church far earlier than I needed to and just sat in the front row of the church and let the tears run. I felt like with all the change happening God had somehow forgotten me and I was going to be forgotten where I was going. God where are You in the change?!
After a while I said to the Lord – I honestly don’t know what to do. I have fought the feelings and know I can’t truly fight the change. God is cool…he knows how to get my attention. He just simply said…”I never asked you to know the when and how of the next step. I didn’t even ask you if you could see the next step. I simply said to you to allow Me to be the strength of your life and let me lead”. That was it right there – the very thing I had been missing – in a simple word “lead”. I was angry because I was at my wits end because I had tried in my own strength to lead myself into a change that only God can truly lead me in. I had tried to hold it together and make sense of things instead of just TRUSTING.
The fact is my life is changing (most of it is very positive) BUT the truth is God is my constant, He never changes. One of the most important things in the midst of change is perspective. I lost perspective and the sight of a simply truth (which is an anchor because it is hope) that God never changes and He is with me regardless of the insecurities or uncertainties.
God took me to the book of Joshua. God said ONLY be strong and very courageous. I went through several Scriptures. God never told Joshua to make a plan…God had that covered. You see my ability and strength runs out. God’s never fades, loses power or fails.
The changes happening in my life are good and I know it is God’s timing therefore He will make it beautiful. It doesn’t mean I won’t face uncertainty – BUT I don’t have to figure it out. When God says move and I move – there is always blessing in my obedience to Him. I can’t achieve what God has in store for me by “splashing” in the shallow water. It’s time to walk deeper – only God can give me a grace to walk through this season. I have to choose to trust, to rely on and rest in Him, letting God lead the way.
Change is constant and God knows that. He gives grace to walk through the different seasons. God makes me strong. God makes me courageous. God makes me brave.
“I will let you draw me out beyond the shore into Your grace…You make me brave, You make me brave. You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.” – You Make Me Brave (Bethel)