If Only I Knew

March/April 2009

March/April 2009

People would often tell me about how I would know that I had met “the one”. They would say, “If only you know how great loving and being loved is”. I never took this statement too seriously until…

I stepped off the plane in Port Elizabeth and took a deep breath. I had arrived in a new place to see this guy which I had never really spent much ‘time’ with in person. Oh, we had spent time together…hours upon hours of texting, which turned into phone calls and finally we graduated to Skyping each other.  4 p.m. sharp every day, I got to speak to him. Now I found myself about to spend a whole couple of days visiting him and his family. Well here goes…

I walked through the doors of the airport and into the luggage collection terminal. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and SUDDENLY I realized I was stuck for a few days with someone I possibly wouldn’t get along with – what a welcoming thought. I told myself I could do this and picked up my luggage. I turned towards the door which led into the arrivals area and that’s when our eyes met. My heart started to beat at an alarming speed. What was I doing? (Please note I was never the type of girl to visit guys or even do the whole ‘dating’ thing.)

Then ‘THAT MOMENT’ happened…he smiled. That smile made me melt and go all ‘gooey’ inside. I temporarily forgot how to walk, although he said I was gliding across the floor. I walked a mere couple of meters, yet it felt like that movie moment where everything else fades into the distance – time crawls along (slow-mo here I come). I came back to my ‘reality’ to find myself in what was one of the best hugs in my life…oh and he smelled oh-so-grand.

It was the beginning of a wonderful week. Little did I know it was the start of a journey. We would both have to work through many things…together and as individuals. We met as two young people finding their way and have had the wonderful privilege of seeing each other become, as we say, “a little more grown up”.

If I only knew what I was getting into then…

I would NOT change anything. Many people wish things had gone differently in their lives, yet they miss a chance to be grateful for what good has happened along the way. I have taken the time to learn to appreciate all the moments that happen along in life so far. Jeremy and I have had 5 amazing years to learn about each other and find ourselves as individuals. We have spent time working on ourselves and preparing for the all important ‘us’. I have learned to appreciate the challenges, they develop both patience and tenacity. They have brought us closer and made us that much stronger. It has forced us to learn how to communicate – both in talking and listening.

Having this time has helped me develop such a deep respect for the man I am going to marry. He is more that just ‘the one’. He is MY one. He is the very first man that I dared to let myself love and be loved by. I have seen him grow and mature into a leader. I have found the one who makes me laugh more than cry. I feel like ‘superwoman’ when I’m with him and even when we’re apart, knowing I’m loved makes me feel like I could take on anything. He makes my life fun and is the ONLY person who is allowed to mess up my routine (I reeeeeally like order). The love he has given me and continues to give makes me believe that there is ‘true love’ and the wait has been worth it. He is my bohemian prince with olive skin and green eyes.

I’m glad that I didn’t know what I was getting into. I would have wanted too much too soon. Learning to wait is one thing. Learning to be patient and content, while waiting, is another. Don’t rush…God’s timing is perfect. He truly makes everything beautiful in His time. Don’t let yourself live in an “if only I knew” kind of way. You don’t want to miss what is in front of you or mess up what you already have because of a thought.

“God makes all things beautiful in His time”. Ecclesiastes 3:11a

3 thoughts on “If Only I Knew

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