Today marks one month until my sister flies out to Dubai. Being me…I tend to think about the 21 years I have been her big sister…
Being the eldest means I went from “on top of the world” to being 1 in 4 children. I ended up not having an ally in the sibling ranks – it is amazing how incredibly close those younger siblings become. Being the eldest means I started working first and became the “adult” and the “old” sibling. The “younger ones” still managed to keep up with all that technology and seem to be able to have an entire conversation with movie and TV show lines…while I’m left to do what I do.
But then, almost out of the blue, I find myself more than just 1 in 4 and more than just the “old” sibling. I have come to that place where the squabbles have stopped and the babysitting no longer exists – I now have 3 best friends. People that know me and I know them – it’s a transparent and real friendship. It is stronger than it appears and it runs deep than our surface insider jokes.
We bond in our own ways together. While we do have disagreements – we are the only ones who are allowed to – just you try hurt one of us and see what happens! This is how it should be…we are friends. We are brothers and sisters. We are family.
The first one of this special group is about to leave. I started to think of all the times that I watched her play and skip around outside care-free. I think of all the times I got irritated with her and visa versa. I think of those nights when our parents would have to command us to sleep because we were giggling and talking. I think about all those chats – where we spoke utter nonsense and those we shared our deepest thoughts. There are the times we encouraged each other and then the times we set each other straight.
Most of all…I think about the person, my sister. She has grown up in front of me. My only goal was to be that “big sister” – no matter how annoying or bossy I had to be – I was going to protect her. Now she has come to a place where she is ready to open those wings and fly. How I desperately want to go with her and be that “big sister”! No-can-do – this is all her.
Now it’s time to see her going boldly in the direction of her dreams. She is able to hold her head up high, confident that she is capable to do everything that she needs to. She goes with a “lifetime” worth of memories and knowing she is loved.
I can’t wait to hear about the new memories and experiences. I will always be that big sister – just I will be cheering for her, supporting and loving her from a different continent!